Big Girls Don't Cry. OH REALLY!!!! What About Big Boys?

Jesus Wept:  John 11:35

Most of my growing up life I was taught that boys, aka men, "don't cry."  Oh babies cry.  "Sissies" cry.  Weak people cry.  People sang "Big girls don't cry."  So I guess [if they are little] then that is okay. Either way, basically tears were frowned on.

Later I noticed, as I grew in ministry, even some of the medical profession bought into this bunch of junk: Someone dies, "give her a valium because she has to be strong."  "Give him a pill so he can pull out of it." Then the person is more or less drugged and not grieving while the support group is all around.  Then when they  (afore mentioned support) are ALL gone, this person is all alone to navigate grief's process.  But "she/he has that bottle of pills."  RESULT: Not grieving on time results in grieving at the wrong time.  My point is the drugs dam up the process while tears help the river of grief flow... PERIOD!

What's the problem with crying? Why can't big girls cry?  Why can't big boys cry?  We need to get over it.  Men have tear ducts and tears.  Women have tear ducts and tears. Boys have tear ducts  and tears, AND girls have tear ducts and tears. SURPRISE!  With all our differences, it is one thing we have in common.  

TAKE A PEEK FROM AN  ANCIENT WISDOM PEAK:

Job, the man God called "perfect," (KJV) actually  "cried."  Jeremiah lamented. Mary "cried" at the tomb of Jesus.  And YES... JESUS WEPT.  HE REALLY DID!  Four days He was late for one of His best friend's funerals, and HE  W-E-P-T!  Don't care about the speculation as to what he was crying about. The fact remains... JESUS WEPT!  BTW: He wept over Jerusalem as well. Folks back then were actually given a formal time to mourn to their hearts content.  I guarantee that during that time they were free to be human and shed tears to God.

MAKNG IT PERSONAL:

When I was 21, TLOML was, I think, 3 months pregnant with our first child.  My grandmother had just died.  For a lot of reasons, I showed little or no emotions.  I did get ticked off at my Dad, however,  for crying on TLOML's shoulders when he could not cry in front of any of us.  I confronted him, and he said to me,  " I learned today that you cannot be fully a man if you cannot cry."  For me, this was a life changing wisdom moment, and this Blew me away!  After I was alone with my thoughts, this poem came out of me:

TEARS

Tears Are Not Bad They Are Good.

They Help Get The Hurt Out As They Should.

Like The Pressure Valve of The Soul They Help Make You Whole.

AND THEY SET YOU FREE!!!

As you pour out tears to God, they help you to grieve.

YOUR CHALLENGE:

Feel like crying?  Been traumatized by life?  Lost a loved one?  Lost someone or something important?  Then try crying "unto the LORD."  The worst thing that will happen is your tears may make your eyes red.  If you wear eye make up, it may make you look like you are trick or treating.  But once you are done, you will be journeying through the Valley of "The Shadow of Death" with the "Good Shepherd" who is also "The man of sorrows acquainted with grief." Once you are done, you will learn that you are grieving on time through the Shock, Anger, Depression,Bargaining and Sadness, as you move toward more balance an Acceptance.  Did I say "once you are done?"  I should say "once you have begun." its the beginning moving toward the end.  Yes, through this process,  you might feel like you are losing your mind... BUT YOU ARE NOT!  Dam it up or drug it up, and problems will invite themselves into your life without your permission that will complicate your grief.

BTW: The song I mentioned at the beginning of this blog ends "Big Girls DO cry."  So do big boys and everyone else.  So let em go and let em flow, sisters and brothers, let em go and let em flow.  Then...

Be Blessed 2-day ... Especially 2-day!

SoJourner