WORD POWER

Hi Everyone,

Today I learned that 100 new words were added to The Merriam Webster Dictionary.  One of them is "frenemy."  I don't remember ever hearing this word before.  Yet Wikipedia says it first appeared in print in 1953.  I do, however, understand it's definition. Frenemy is defined (by words of course) as someone who acts like a friend, but they are in reality your enemy.  They may say certain things that make you think they are your friend, but this powerful act of saying something in such a way as to trick you and hurt you gives great power to their words. And it gives them power over you.  All the while they are smiling passive aggressively at you while sticking you in the back.  Hence they are your "frenemy."  I have experienced such a relationship (actually more than one), and the words they used indeed carried great power.  

I was a child, I heard "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me. "  This is pure unadulterated horse manure:o)  Notice I used clean words that were non offensive, but you get the intent of what I am trying to say emphatically:  WORDS ARE POWERFUL!!!!.  WORD'S DO HURT!  WORDS ORDER LIFE!  WORDS MOVE NATIONS! WORDS MATTER!!!!!!!

Ask a child who has been told "You will NEVER amount to anything," all their life,   "Do words hurt?  They will not have to speak a word because you will have sitting in front of you a person who has "never amounted to anything" or a person who is such a perfectionist that they cannot sit still because they are driven to achieve even if it kills them.  And their language will be largely critical of other people. Their anxiety level will likely be elevated

Ask a child who has been called every conceivable abusive name if those words were not as traumatic to them as the fist that may have accompanied their abuse.  Again they will not have to speak.  But if they did,  you would hear a person who likely spouts the most crude language you ever heard that is hurtful in every way.  Or you would have a person on the other end of the continuum sitting in front of you:   They will not say a word for fear of saying the wrong thing.  They would be in terror of offending you and of being rejected.  

Ask the young girl raped by her parent who called her a slut or whore and who told her she was showing love to her sick parent by submitting, "Do words hurt?"  You will having sitting in front of you a person who has difficulty saying "no."  She will have the following "WORD" that drives her life: "if only I had been a better girl my daddy would not have done that."   "Its my fault."  And she would be filled with shame.  Indeed WORDS DO HURT!  I have listened to more than one young woman talk of their trauma, and I can tell you this is true.

And its not hard  to see WORDS ORDER LIFE!  A child living under the power of berating words will likely not have a healthy marriage but dysfunctional relationships that are repeated over and over again.  Sadly they will pass all this on to the next generation.  Why because most likely words that are important will not be believed to be important.  They will be "just words." And so the broken vows that destroy their marriages, homes and families will continue doing so for generations to come.  Like it or not WORDS ORDER LIFE!

Think about the flip side of this:  Make a point to tell a child, "I love you no matter what!"  Tell a child, "You are a great kid!" Tell a child, "I am so proud of you!"  Tell a child, and back it up, "I am here for you!"  Let your child hear you speak words of love and compassion to your spouse as you demonstrate those words. Let that child see you live out your marriage vows "for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health." Give them healthy boundaries described by healthy words.  Give them words that build healthy values. Give the child cards and kudos affirming their worth.  And you will have a child who has been motivated by words to excel and become the very best they can be. You will have a child who is likely to have a healthy marriage, a healthy family and a healthy life. Why would they do so?  BECAUSE WORDS MATTER! WORDS HAVE POWER! WORDS ORDER LIFE.  The child will also know of the importance of words, and follow the example they have been taught.  It seems to be values are caught more than taught.

This blog is dedicated to vets.  I have seen vets lose their sobriety that they have maintained for months, one day at a time.  Why did they lose it? One reason is they entertained words in their minds that said, "Just one drink won't hurt."  Now they are drowning in alcohol.  I know of deeply religious vets who for years believed God loves them.  But they had gotten into some sick theology of a preacher whose words represent fear mongering, and now they struggling just to keep a little peace of mind.  I have seen a veteran suffering from PTSD, give to God words of contrition and confession.  As a result he felt the true forgiveness and compassion of God.  The result is he has peace with God.  And now it is months later and he has NO nightmares, He had suffered for 2.5 years with sleepless nights that had raged with darkness and fearful dreams.  But words of genuine confession have changed his life forever. Confessing our sin to God has a way of transforming our lives as it did this veteran's life  Forgiving words from a loving Heavenly Father will cause you to be a new creation.

So the next time you hear some one curse, swear, name call, berate, belittle and or verbally abuse someone.  Mark it down they have been victims of the same.  The next time you hear a person speak faithless words that do not demonstrate faith in our life giving Jesus who is Christ, you will know what words they have incorporated  and internalized as their rules for living.  You will know that darkness abides in their life.  The next time you see a perfectionist who may have done fairly well in life but has difficulty not speaking negatively of others, you can guess something of their history. The next time you hear overhear someone saying negative words against themselves when they make a mistake like "stupid," "dummy," or "idiot." You can safely assume someone has called them all three sometimes in their life.  Next time you hear someone spitting expletives, you can know what kind of symbolic saliva they have had sprinkled through out their lives.  They have let garbage in, and now they put garbage out of their mouths.  And this trash pollutes others, especially the ones they "say" they love.

As we journey through life I hope we will have wisdom and make commitments to make our words life giving and healthy (holy.) Sticks and stones potentially do break our bones, and words disarm and harm us... unless we determine journey along a different path and choose to speak words of the truth in Love.

Be Blessed 2day, especially to day.

From: The SoJourner